Death and Salvation
by Manganese Wolf
Summary: Another year, another death. But this one will shake the whole of soul society...who is the mysterious person who so willingly changes to protect her friends and becomes the last of the highest noble clan...and will Byakuya finaly melt his hearts ice...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Life is precious I had only learnt that upon realisation of my death, who knew that bleach was a true prospect…imagine one minute you can see nothing then the next an agonizing pain and the sight of a sword in your stomach. The stuff you could once not see comes to you in the death of your mortal body, I had a reason to resist death and that was not because of my family…I had none, well not for the past 6 months anyway. It was my 14th birthday and yet it was to be my death day aswell, he was the one reason for me to live…he was my long time best friend and he was like my little brother. Everything went in an instant the sword was no longer there and the pain was so immense that I never thought such pain could exist, the blade disappeared and I only got a quick glance of slicked back brown hair and a white cloak before the person was gone. I struggled to walk towards my friends who were down the bank and in the park, playing on the swings and other playground toys. I felt the agony once again but continued my pursuit to get to the ones closest to me…the people that now made my whole world, I felt myself wanting to let go but I just couldn't…I couldn't! We had gone out to the park for a little birthday celebration so there were no adults around, I thought I'd attempt to hide the pain and the damage and just try my luck until an adult came along. I managed to sneak over to where our coats were and roughly picked up my white fleece, shaking as I sat beside the bags and pressed it to the wound on my stomach…I was terrified and didn't know how I'd be able to keep going.

'Hey Tamara! Come and play!' Alex, a good friend of mine, called out to me and I raised my hand to wave off the offer…I had just made a bad move. He stared in horror at the blood coating my hand and immediately he noticed the liquid staining my t-shirt and fleece. I struggled to move as he ran towards one of my other friends, Karl…he had been a good friend of mine for many years and was always there when I needed support the most.

'Shit!' I heard him swear and the two came running towards me, panic written all over their faces.

'I'm fine,' my voice wavered with the torment my body had begun to subdue to, I was still shaking and that had also not gone unnoticed.

'Damn well you aren't! What happened? Show us!' Alex spoke firmly and I managed to drag myself to my feet, using the railing behind me for support. The fleece slipped from my numbing fingers and they gasped as they saw the deep stab wound inflicted upon me, I could no longer feel my legs and blood dripped from the side of my mouth as I coughed liquid onto the floor. I fell to my knees as the two boys supported me, being careful not to cause me any more harm.

'I'm going to get help, now!' Karl was up and running off towards the others, Alex shook his head as a tear slipped down his face.

'Don't cry, you never usually do and I don't want this to make anything any different,' I spoke confidently with my crackling voice, coughing more blood onto the earth as he leaned me back up against the fence.

"_If I die here…let all of those people here today…all of my friends…let them be able to see anything and all paranormal…I know they exist and I'll make my last wish theirs" _I thought the only thing I could and that was the benefit of my friends and not allowing them to grieve or anything, I wanted to look upon them and know they were happy and that I hadn't made any of them…especially him, rain in their hearts.

'How am I supposed to not? You are here and I am helpless…I can tell he's going to be hurt more than all of us,' he spoke and I knew he was speaking the truth, the sword had been poisoned of that I was sure because moments before it collided a voice had spoken out to me…

'_You will die of poison and not of wound, the wound will horrify but the poison will kill,' _the voice had come many moments before the incident and I knew just what it had meant, my heart leapt into my mouth as more blood soaked the ground melding with one silent tear that had slipped from my well kept eyes.

'TAMARA!' the voice was familiar and full of pain, I could tell who it was and I felt my heart break as I saw his tears…was it possible for me to feel anymore pain?

'Don't cry…I'm alright,' I pulled myself to my feet once more and leaned on the metal behind me, wobbling slightly as I stabled myself and placed my weight on the metal and not on my body,' see…I can still stand,' that was the last I said before I fell into the arms of all but three of my friends, leaving the world for another one. I sat back watching the scene and I had already guessed that something was real which I had thought was not, as a chain of fate…severed and shattered appeared on my chest. I managed to stand to my feet gasping slightly at the loss of air normal souls attained upon death. I could see now that the three of my missing friends were unable to leave the park because of a powerful kido spell; it had caused a barrier to ensue around the park with the only occupants as us…the children. I walked towards them and walked up to the barrier, unaware that my last wish had come true I placed a hand to the barrier and ran my hand across it, wondering how I was going to open it. Hollows began to gather and I knew all my friends were doomed if they didn't run away, but they couldn't run anywhere…every single one had gathered. My friends now too gathered in the centre of the park, dragging my body limply in aswell…I shuddered at the thought that I was indeed very much dead. They could see the hollows! Wait that meant…I ran to the gate, much faster then my human self would have been able to. I stopped at the gate and felt like trying something; I walked a few steps back and jumped over the gate landing in front of the scared group of people. I completely forgot the situation as I spoke to the group, standing in a position as if to say what.

'You look like you've seen a ghost…' I spoke then laughed at myself, 'oh wait…I am a ghost! Sorry I'm not used to this yet,' I blushed and placed my hand on the back of my head, ruffling my hair in embarrassment, as Colby cautiously approached me, then walked all around me as if he was inspecting the truth. I slapped his hand away as he went to place his hand on me, he had always had a slightly twisted sense of humour.

'Ow, it looks like you and acts like you,' he spoke and I shrugged my shoulders in defeat, and then was alerted by the screech of a hollow.

'I don't care whether you think I'm real or not! In a minute if we don't get moving you are going to become hollow food!' I spoke quickly and got hit round the back of the head by a hollow's light attack; it was testing me…testing my strength. I was flung to the side and staggered to my feet, wobbling back over where I was whilst rubbing the back of my head, noticing the traces of sticky hot blood on my hand.

'Hollow? What the crap are you talking about?' Alex replied and I sighed noting the attack wasn't visible to them because it had been too quick, I sighed and walked back over to the gate; this time just walking through it like normal.

'These things, and you know what I'm nuts for doing this but…oh well here goes,' I walked into the middle of the grassy area and just looked up then I took a deep breath and, 'HEY YOU UGLY THINGS GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE!' I shouted the insult then realised what I had just done, 'Oh bum!' I shouted as I now ran towards the group, hollows crashing after me…I had to have done the most stupid thing ever just now!

'Holy crap!' Alex shouted and they all now knew what I was talking about, the ones who knew of bleach couldn't believe their eyes and watched in awe then snapped back to the reality of the happening of events. I turned on my heels and met with the face of a hollow, my eyes widened as it changed course and it headed towards my friends. I was routed to the spot; it had glued my legs to the floor!

'COWARD! LEAVE THEM ALONE! IT'S ME YOU WANT! BACK OFF OF THEM!' I screamed and shouted and I felt hot tears soak my cheeks as the monster drew closer and closer to my friends, I couldn't protect them…but if I gave up on this life then maybe…!

'Byakurai 46! White lightning!' I shouted and the hollow crumbled, disappearing in front of them. I was a different person…a new face…a new identity…new powers and a new life entwined with my old one. I now wore uniform similar to Soi Fon's, I had a zanpakuto tied to my waist and ribbons that flowed black and white from its' hilt. My hair was now silky black and flowed gracefully to mid-back, my eyes were a beautiful purple and my features were cute whilst being beautiful. My hair was brought back into a red ribbon tied ponytail and the bangs on either side of my face were clipped back with white and black clips, I stood proudly in the ruins of the park's playground fence; smiling at the group…my new smile to go with my new voice. I ushered them to quietly follow my league, we crept across the now muddy and smashed park to the barrier of kido at its boundary. They still had halt of my body upon whence I hacked through the barrier and escorted them up my street where upon they all went their separate ways; they waved goodbye tears brimming their eyes. James laid my body on the floor in the garage and ran to the door shouting for his brother because his parents were out at work, his brother shouted back down and with a few exchanged words the thumping of footsteps down the stairs became apparent and his older brother emerged from within the doorway. He asked what had happened and my friend, James, explained the story quickly as his brother rang an ambulance.

'You can't leave…it won't be the same around here or anywhere,' he spoke to me, my new soul that is as we sat at the far end of the garage…curling into the back of the garage he sobbed slightly and I rested a hand on his shoulder.

'Why would I leave? I don't have anywhere to go?' His older brother, Alex, listened intently and was shocked by the conversation he was currently hearing and the next bit shocked him even more as he turned to see a figure dressed in Shihakusho sat talking to his little brother.

'You'll have to leave soon! Don't forget the basics of Bleach! Soul society? Seretei? The other world which isn't this one might I add!?' He stood up in frustration as I realised the meaning of his sentences, then sorrow hit my soul heart hard.

'James? May I ask who your…eccentric friend is?' His brother asked and I turned not realising that he was talking about me, it hit me with surprise when he walked towards us looking straight at me.

'You can see her? Wow who knew, Ta―' he began to speak when I interrupted, gently turning to face Alex.

'I am a spirit you see, my name is Rystai Varixa,' I spoke calmly and with a stoic expression, this was met by a very uninterested look.

'What kind of trick are you two trying to pull? Whatever it is I'm not falling for it!' He called as he quickly sat back beside my body, James sighed then noticed I had walked out the garage door and was looking up at the rooftops. I cursed as he stood a few steps behind me and as his brother-followed suite, stopping with abrupt speed at the recognition of some of the people stood on the rooftops.

'Oh happy days, now I have this lot keeping watch on me,' I laughed and James laughed along with me, his brother was by no means thinking this was a time to joke.

'Holy crap! It's real! All of it…and should you two really being saying something like that?!' He spoke the realisation dawning on him.

'Hey I didn't say anything!' James retaliated as the figures began to walk up the street, jumping down from their high perches.

'I've got a bad feeling about this, even if they are the good guys,' I whispered to the two people behind me and began to back off, turning and sitting as if I was just a human playing dress-up and not a real soul. We began to attempt to take my body into the house, laying it on the settee and making sure it looked like we had attempted to clean the wound to a sufficient cleanliness. I was shaking as I sat and looked out the window, I had tried to refrain myself from jumping as a captain appeared quickly and sharply in front of the patio door window but, I failed miserably and went crashing over the arm-chair and landed in a heap in the middle of the room…eyes wide with shock. Then James began to laugh his head off and as did I, we stopped giggling when his brother walked in the room then started laughing once more. We didn't stop until the truth of what had just happened settled in, I swore at myself for being so stupid and walked out of the room; James lead me upstairs to his room and his parents rooms where I could keep an eye out for the good soldiers prowling the outside of the house.

'I think I was Ron from the new Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!' after that comment we burst into laughter upon which our happiness turned to tears at the so far events of the day. We heard the ambulance pull onto the drive and James and me used that moment to get outside whilst being covered by the events, I walked past the ambulance and James explained he needed to go and spend time with his other friend to get over this. His brother nodded and we continued to journey down the road, as we walked past my old house I walked up to the drive way and opened the front door for the first time that day, I removed a letter…ever since my family disappeared and were reported dead I had made sure to have a will written. I picked it up and locked the door to the house once more, handing the keys and the letter to James. He took them and placed them in the bag he had brought with him in a hurry to escape the house and get away. At the bottom of the street we turned to the right and pursued to go in the opposite direction to the park and go to the large grassy area with trees and lush green cover nearby, seeing as the park wasn't the best of areas now that it was damaged to obliteration because of the numerous hollows. Let alone we did not notice all of our friends walking behind us, going in exactly the same direction; we arrived and the two of us perched up in a tree. We looked down at the area and another silent tear slipped to the floor, I remembered my life and how it hadn't been perfect but, it was now over and I had to deal with being a new person; who had much greater responsibilities and would need to deal with anything that came her way.

'_I'm a gummibear, oh yes I'm a gummibear oh I'm a yummy tummy funny lucky gummibear!' _I laughed as the ring tone I had sent James went off on his phone, we continued to sing it and ignored the fact that the number was of someone he did not know…someone who knew about human mobiles and how to hack their signal. Our singing could be heard above the loud music and the others managed to find us, a pair of laughing wreckages amongst the bows the tree. I somehow managed to lose balance and slipped out the tree landing on a discarded settee cushion below the tree, still laughing and attempting to sing at the same time. I remembered my phone and at that point everyone who had a phone had an idea, I had a song that was sung by an actor who attempted to ply Captain Kuchiki and he so happened to be one of the people standing back with the other two captains watching at a very close distance. So we all started it at the same time and laughed as he heard a voice similar to Renji's calling to him, at that moment we scattered and as the music began to play I mocked by dancing to the rhythm along with James and Alex, leaving the others bewildered at our dancing and how we had managed to learn the dance routine to it. The actor began to sing and we all had to hold our breaths as the expression on Byakuya's face became a priceless confused state, I finished off the song and all my friends jumped on me in a heartfelt pile on. I laughed then we sat in a circle, talking about the days events and how we were going to mess with these guys minds, just for a little while and not too much because the other two captains were Ukitake and Unohana; they were nice captains so I hesitated on them and although I admired Byakuya he was the easiest target. We jumped to our feet and Karl began to play through the yaoi insult that always got me wound up and still did now even though it was the plan, he ran past Byakuya with me chasing him and the captain caught the conversation snippet that had me so wound up.

'ByaRen,' I shivered and continued to chase him as he ran back down the hill, me racing after him and then I began to feel upset again about the comment, although the look on his face was even more priceless than the last!

'That isn't funny anymore!' I shouted a mere few feet away from the trio of captains, as I shouted to my friend.

'Hey Jake get up here!' James called as we went onto our next lot of the plan; Jake appeared and was oblivious as to what was actually going to happen.

'Where's? Gin? I mean Ginnie…I mean Jinnie get your arse up here and you Kira!' The captains looked at each other wondering what I meant when two of my friends stepped forward, my friend Ken who doesn't half look like Gin; hence the nickname and my friend Jake who started giving me a funny look so I called him a girl then used the name Kira from bleach on him. I couldn't find my phone as the actor of Byakuya began singing and I blushed bright red, all my friends laughed. I ran down the hill, fumbling to take my phone from Ken's hand and switch the song off, I went plum red and they all laughed as I pouted covering my face as the music was turned off.

'Timmy I think this is yours!' He called throwing me the phone because I was still at quite a distance from them, I fell to the floor as a shadow swept beneath me carrying me towards the group.

'Oh sh―' I went to swear as I crashed full pelt into a tree and attempted to stand but fell dizzily to the floor, wobbling slightly from the heavy impact.

'What the hell was that?!' they all asked in unison and I shook my head as they helped me to stand on my feet, I shrugged my shoulders and nearly fell over again as I began to topple over but was caught by a few of my friends who helped me to lay gently down on the floor.

'Don't move,' James spoke as him and the others ran off, I raised myself to a seated position; my head was spinning as I placed it in the palm of my hand. I saw a huge hollow looming over the trees and shouts coming from my friends, my vision was still blurred as I ran unstable towards the creature and began to draw my zanpakuto.

'Over here! It's me you big ugly brute! Get your big arse over here this instant!' I shouted and it turned grinning at me with its devilish smile.

'How DARE you insult me little girl! You WILL pay!' The hollow's voice was raspy and it rattled my bones, my vision became worse and worse as I attempted to steer clear of it's attacks.

'What is she doing?' She's all over the place,' Ukitake spoke as each captain noticed the familiar red glow coming from the hollow's mouth, it laughed and turned the red beam towards my friends; I jumped and the hollow gripped me…stopping it's cero attack.

'My best bet is that she can hardly see what she is doing, fool,' Unohana spoke as the trio prepared to aid me, racing in and striking the hollow allowing it to be dragged through the hell gate by the sword of the devil. Unohana was beside me in an instant and she began to question me. 'How many fingers?' She asked and held up three of her fingers in front of me, as I faced skywards.

'Four? I don't know I can't see,' I spoke abruptly as I closed my eyes; the dizziness was beginning to make me feel nauseous and uncomfortable. She had confirmed that we could see them and that my eyesight had been lost somewhat badly by the run in with the…ah-hum…tree.

'Is she alright?' Byakuya walked over and Unohana shook her head, signifying the weak person who had so bravely, or was it so dumbly, taken on a hollow on her own.

'Well if that is the case is it not best to return to Seretei with her? We do not have the facilities to help here, but we do at Seretei and Yama-ji is waiting to see this girl for some unknown reason so that seems our best bet,' Ukitake spoke and the other two captains agreed with the decision. They all stood up and temporarily walked off to find a suitable position for the Soul Society gate, my friends ran to my side; I was bleeding a sufficient amount of blood and I could only just see them when my eyes were open. They knew where I was going and all of them smiled sadly as I slipped a necklace into James's and then another one into Toni's hand, they took them and ran off back into the woods; James held up the necklace my dear grandma had given to me and Toni held up the wolf necklace she had given to me that I had so treasured. That was when tears began to fall as they watched the scene unfolding, the scene that, to their knowledge, would be the last they ever saw of me; well my new self and what was left of me.

Byakuya surprised the other captain's by raising me, bridal-style, into his arms and turning towards the trees, where my friends noticed the bright red blush that had taken over my cheeks. They all laughed slightly and smiled, knowing that the character I now was, was roughly 16 earth years old making me about 153 in soul years…nearly the same age as Byakuya maybe an odd 10 years or so difference. He turned and we entered the portal to Soul Society, I clutched tightly to his Shihakusho and grimaced as the dark took halt of us, soon we were back in the light and I had left my friends behind…far behind. This was to be my new life…but I was about to realise just how different a person I was to become…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_**100 days later…**_

_A hundred days have made me older_

_Since the last time that I saw your pretty face_

_A thousand lies have made me colder_

_And I don't think I can look at this the same_

_But all the miles that separate_

Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight girl it's only you and me_

_The miles just keep rollin'_

_As the people leave their way to say hello_

_I've heard this life is overrated_

_But I hope that it gets better as we go_

_Oh yeah_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight girl it's only you and me_

_Everything I know, and anywhere I go_

_It gets hard but it won't take away my love_

_And when the last one falls_

_When it's all said and done_

It gets hard but it won't take away my love Oh

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

_I think about you baby_

_And I dream about you all the time_

_I'm here without you baby_

_But you're still with me in my dreams_

_And tonight girl it's only you and me_

The music played through my metallic purple Ipod nano that I had bought with my captain's wages; this was my first mission on earth after taking up my duties and guess what…I was stuck going to my old school with a load of the members of the bleach crew. What could make this any worse? Oh yes most of my friends will recognise all of them!

'May I say that you look overly nervous, Taicho,' I mumbled a reply to Rukia at her question as I adjusted my uniform, walking along the path…we were going to be an hour early to school so that we could be introduced to our new teachers and other people; aswell as getting our new timetables. I had decided to change my name for the school run and yet the others had not so I had to put mine back to my true Captain name. I turned off my Ipod and grumbled as I slipped it into my small, drawstring, school bag and then replaced the bag firmly on my shoulders. Around me stood Rukia, Byakuya, Renji, Ukitake and Toshirou…please agree with me they stood out like cherries on a blank surface. They were in their gigai's so they were all to be placed into year 10 classes with me, my mind mentally hit itself at the thought of the reasoning behind at least one of them being in every single one of my classes.

'Yes, I'll admit that I am particularly nervous today…and you, Rukia fukataicho?' I replied to my lieutenant/assistant captain staying calm as I spoke, not allowing my nervousness to pass into my voice.

'I am good, arigato,' I nodded gently at her reply as we entered the cafeteria area of the school, sighing as the head teacher seemingly appeared out of no-where.

'Welcome to Avon Valley School, I am Mr O'Neil and I am your head teacher. You must be the new students, I am impressed to say you all got very high test scores on the exams we put you through to determine your skill level,' I stared at him, as if I thought but…it might have been possible especially with the library at the Seretei.

'It is good to meet you sir,' we all spoke in unison as he led us, winding in between the tables to the central staircase…where upon all the others looked at the main building in awe.

'This staircase is only usually allowed to be used by teachers but―' he reached into a pocket and gave us each a card that was signed by him and had a small message on it about the staircase, 'if you keep halt of these then you will have no trouble using it, this is a reward as you are now our top students,' I smiled at the thought of my new self being able to be good at something, it felt good to be respected and Rukia noted the pleasant expression on my face and she too smiled. We had a tour of the school and got our timetables, people were beginning to file into the school as I found out we were going to be with my favourite tutor of all time! Miss Benny! As we walked into the tutor everyone was in uproar as to where my old self was, Miss Benny entered the class and had the last remnants of tears on her face as she passed us…I felt my soul being torn apart from within my gigai as Rukia rested a hand on my shoulder to reassure me everything would be ok. The classroom had been repositioned so the six of us sat in a row at the computers that were at the back of the room, we sat there silently and prepared for the teacher to quieten the class.

'Welcome back to school, KS4…we have received some disturbing news which will be delivered to you during assembly and so too will our six new students,' we all lined up and filed neatly into the theatre, sitting silently on the front row. The assembly started off with Mr O'Neil's expectations and other school related stuff, then all attention turned to the screen as the lights went off; my eyes widened in horror and sadness at what the PowerPoint presentation was all about. Me. Rukia noticed how I had slacked into my chair and so too had the others, tears threatened to overwhelm me as I turned my head to stare at the screen. Pictures of me from school trips and other excursions in my life at school and some they had managed to access from relatives and friends, I heard people crying as the screen explained what had happened and I placed my head in my hands.

"_I thought they already knew before the end of term, no wonder people were speculating about skiving school," _my thoughts led me to wonder why they cared so much for me, I was nothing in school…I didn't belong, but even now those that had bullied me had tears slip down their cheeks. I was finding it unbearable…everything didn't work…why had I agreed to come back to earth!? Then a poem I had written began to be read out by Miss Cassie who had Miss Upton stood beside her, they were not my yr10 teachers but they had known my old self for years.

'_Blossoming Sakura,' _as she read the title I knew one person who had given her that poem…Toni; that wonderful girl! That amazing girl that was one of my closest friends! She continued the poem and as she began to read I mimed the words much to the shock of the people behind me and the teachers that notice my syncing went perfectly with the words, now I had explaining to do afterwards…

'_Life is the rocky roads_

_The good and bad modes_

_Truth and lies_

_Early warning eyes_

_But now I know love_

_Flies peaceful as a dove_

_I am the bud that decides to be brave_

_To blossom and be saved_

_It tears me apart_

_Right from the very start_

_I watch you with someone else_

_The cards have been dealt_

_I can't play my card_

_Everything makes it too hard_

_I am the softest of petals_

_Unable to be the one who levels_

_The table and hurts another_

_I wish I could be tougher_

_Fragile and small_

_Not at all anyone tall_

_I am delicate to the world_

_A bud tightly curled_

_Refusing to step one foot wrong_

_Living silently on_

_Now is the time_

_For my sun to shine_

_Life is the rocky roads_

_The good and bad modes_

_Truth and lies_

_Early warning eyes_

_But now I know love_

_Flies peaceful as a dove_

_I am the bud that decides to be brave_

_To blossom and be saved_

_I blossom to show you_

_The complete truth_

_Comprehend the future_

_It's coming much sooner_

_Hand in hand_

_Together we stand_

_I have blossomed and become taller_

My love is a blossoming sakura,'

At the end of the poem most of the people in the theatre were in tears and most of the teachers wanted to know how I knew that poem, when it was obvious I was one of the six new students. My heart skipped a beat as they tried to lift the spirits of the people in the theatre; they pulled the six of us to the front and displayed our names one in turn on the board.

'These are our six new students, please introduce yourself by name one like and one dislike,' Mr O'Neil spoke up…we all had a microphone each. I gulped slightly as I was the first person to speak.

'My name is Varixa Rystai, I like wolves and dislike bullies,' I spoke, gulping down my nerves as all of my friends that knew me well enough gasped, it couldn't be they all thought as the ones that knew of bleach began to widen their eyes at the other's information.

'I am Byakuya Kuchiki, I like Chinese Bellflowers and dislike spicy food,' I giggled inside my head as they each made up most of the information, especially I knew Byakuya liked those flowers but spicy food? Yeah right! He adored spicy food more than anyone I had ever met!

'I am Jushirou Ukitake, I like sweet foods and dislike hunters,' again another partially false statement from him, I mentally kicked myself as they continued and now the lies became even worse.

'I am Toshirou Hitsugaya, I like cold weather and dislike hot weather,' I had to mentally stop myself from laughing at the most obvious like and dislike difference…they were complete opposites of course he would dislike hot weather if he liked cold weather. Although to be said he liked the hot weather anyway, what were they up to?

'I am Rukia Kuchiki, I like rabbits and dislike bullies,' wow who knew she would take my dislike, although for Rukia that was mostly true…especially chappy the rabbit!

'I am Renji Abarai, I like sunglasses and dislike the cold weather,' was Renji being ironic because I knew the sunglasses but cold weather? Now that really was going to get deep into Hitsugaya, we all bowed slightly and smiled…which to see Byakuya not doing so did not surprise any of us. Immediately most of the teachers that had spotted me raised their hand to question us, when Mr O'Neil asked if people would like to question us because we were going to use up the rest of period 1.

'How did you know the poem that was written by Tamara? I do not recall anyone telling you before this and you mimed it perfectly,' the teacher was Miss Owen and I knew I had been caught out; I had to think of something and quickly.

'Well…I used to know Tamara very well, we used to write poems together and she always read that one out so I memorised it into my mind,' I finished my eyes showing a hint of tears, the others were impressed by my improvisation skills. The teachers placed their hands down satisfied with the answer as we returned to our seats, but were soon told we needed to show everyone a talent we had of which we had prepared earlier. I was very nervous because I knew me and Byakuya had planned to sing and of course the others were going to be acting/dancing in the background, him and me stood up and walked onto the stage as the music began playing.

Let me hold you for the last time

_It's the last chance to feel again_

_But you broke me and now I can't feel anything_

_When I love you it's a one true_

_I can't even convince myself_

_When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else_

_Oh it tears me up_

_I try to hold on but it hurts too much_

_I try to forgive but it's not enough_

_To make it all ok_

_You can't play on broken strings_

_You can't feel anything_

_That your heart don't want to feel_

_I can't tell you something that ain't real_

_Oh the truth hurts_

_And life's worse_

_How can I give anymore_

_When I love you a little less_

_Than before_

_Oh what are we doing_

_We are turning into dust_

_Playing house in the ruins of us_

_Running back through the fire_

_There's nothing left to say_

_It's like chasing the very last train_

_When it's too late_

_Oh it tears me up_

_I try to hold on but it hurts too much_

_I try to forgive but it's not enough_

_To make it all ok_

_You can't play on broken strings_

_You can't feel anything_

_That your heart don't want to feel_

_I can't tell you something that ain't real_

_Oh the truth hurts_

_And life's worse_

_How can I give anymore_

_When I love you a little less_

_Than before_

_Oh we run into the fire_

_When there is nothing last to say_

_It is like chasing the very last train_

_But we both know it's too late_

_You can't play on broken strings_

_You can't feel anything_

_That your heart don't want to feel_

_I can't tell you something that ain't real_

_Oh the truth hurts_

_And life's worse_

_How can I give anymore_

_When I love you a little less_

_Than before_

_Yeah I love you a little less than before_

_Let me hold you for the last time_

_It's the last chance to feel again_

We sung the song as a duet like James Morrison and Nelly Furtado had and everyone cheered, the bell rang and our first break time began as congratulations were thrown in our faces as we walked out the door.

"_He's such an amazing singer," _I daydreamed then blushed as I realised I had been staring at him for quite a while now, he had turned and was giving me a cold look so I walked past him laughing nervously; we exited through round to the back of the cage area…the others following in my footsteps. Rukia stayed close beside me as I placed my bag down on the bone dry concrete, it was very hot for the winter but no-one was complaining…the hot weather was better than freezing to death. Byakuya looked at his surroundings as we all began to eat our sushi and rice with chopsticks; it had taken me a long time to learn to use them. As we finished our small lunches I turned my back to the steep, grassy hill, I immediately regretted it as my old self's friends; Karl, Colby, Alex and Kyle tripped me over and dragged me down the slope. I cried out, scrambling to my feet as Rukia leant a hand out to me; her brother was in shock at such treatment being displayed to me.

'Don't hold onto my leg! Hey!' Rukia went toppling over along with me and we were once more dragged down the hill, I laughed as I pulled Rukia to her feet and we straightened our uniform; slowly ascending the hill.

'I'm sorry, I should have been more careful; please forgive me,' I spoke to Rukia and she shook her head, unable to comprehend the current situation.

'Please, don't apologise…I know you meant no harm,' she replied and then something clicked inside my head, causing me to spin on my heels and view the amazing amount of my old friends who were now gathered at the bottom of the slope.

'How come you…people, know me?' I called to them and they all turned, their faces coated with horror and pure confusion at my statement.

'Tamara, we told them what happened!' the ones that had been there on that fateful day shouted together, I cringed slightly at the slight aggression presented in their voices and a the person who had just walked around the corner. My heart skipped a beat as I recognised the year eight boy, the one who was like a little brother to me. 'Hey! James stop sulking!' Karl called up and I smiled walking past Byakuya, who watched in fascination of what of I was planning to do.

'Yes…pleases do it doesn't suit you to have such an utterly incomplete look upon your face,' I spoke and laughed as I was thrown to the floor by James knocking me backwards…I smiled as he hugged me tightly and I hugged him back. We released each other and blushed realising the hug had lasted for far too long, I smiled and for once he returned it…I'd never felt so happy before.

'They're usually over here! Come on!' I froze as I heard the hyper active voice and I immediately ran down the hill in minor fear; she was hyper again.

'How much sugar have you had today Danii?' the familiar voice of Toni spoke up above the oncoming raucous as they appeared around the corner of the cage; Danii running full speed in my direction. I cursed and Ukitake shook his head, I began to run until the others managed to jump on me…landing a very uncomfortable pile on with me at its base.

'Paselegetoffmybdoy,' I mumbled my muffled voice taking the letters and muddling them in the sentence; I coughed underneath the group and as I struggled under their weight…somebody sat on my leg and I cried out in pain as the pressure applied to it began to increase and became unbearable.

'GET OFF!' Byakuya shouted and the whole group looked at him in surprise including those from seretei, everyone immediately scrambled to get off me and then pulled me to my feet; I struggled to put the weight on my leg but had learnt to cover up my injuries if I acquired any. Struggling to the top of the hill I had no clue how to respond to the noble clan head that stood before me.

'Arigato, Kuchiki-Taicho,' he gave a nod and a glint of anger sparkled in his eye, I looked at Rukia who shrugged at me in confusion and utter shock. My friends were upset by the action of them hurting me, immediately one of them, Toni walked up to me and whispered something in my ear…I widened my eyes and she pulled out a pen as I brought out a piece of paper.

Makoto ni moushiwake gozaimasen, Kuchiki-Taicho

_(Meaning: I have no excuse when you have really screwed up-no offence guys but he will literally cut your heads off for this so I had to give you the most strong apology and Toni will teach you how to say because I have just taught her ^_^)_

I wrote the apology they needed on the paper and quietly taught Toni how to say it exactly right without any mistakes, she then went down the hill and passed the note around teaching the other how to say the phrase; within minutes they could speak it fluently and turned…walking towards Byakuya from the bottom of the hill. They stood below where he was standing and I smiled at them, they waited and when he raised his head in interest I nodded mine towards them.

'Makoto ni moushiwake gozaimasen, Kuchiki-Taicho,' they all spoke in unison and bent into a very low and respectful bow, I smiled and Byakuya seemed to lose his anger…he stood straight and nodded towards the group who released small sighs.

'You did that didn't you?' Ukitake whispered in my ear and I smiled back at him, looking in innocence.

'Me? Never little old me,' I whispered sarcastically to him and he laughed quietly to himself as everyone began to relax and my friends finished eating their dinner during the peacefulness; next to come…dinnertime; and thanks to the first day of a new school year break and dinner had been extended…how lucky was I…

I had double GCSE history with mr Bonser and with Ukitake sitting beside me, we were in the computer room and for the first hour we had all games and other things unlocked so we could get a bit of entertainment. That hour included Ukitake constantly looking over my shoulder at my computer screen as I opened up a web page and began to take in all of the information on the screen; my eyes widened as I reached a part of the text stating that a teacher had mysteriously disappeared from within school before the end of term and had not been seen since the incident. My heart skipped a beat as I opened a word document and copied an image of the marks found on the wall of his classroom before it had been refurbished due to extensive damage, Ukitake had become interested and I sighed…printing off the information along with a second copy. Walking to the printer I collected the two sheets and handed one of the colour images with the information to Ukitake who accepted it with a smile and a hand that gently took the paper from my grasp; I sat back down and plugged in my headphones clicking onto msn videos and typing in the song name ignorance. As the results popped up, none for that matter, I realised youtube would be working for the next 45 minutes and decided to listen to music whilst writing a letter of apology to excuse me from last period due to a meeting with a lodger and a temporary housing position. Ukitake had not seen the complete letter but had noticed the including of both Rukia's name and mine, causing him to wonder what we were up to. By the end of the two hours I had proven to Ukitake I was a different person to the captain he knew to expect by now, my head hurt slightly and I was excused early from the class to go get some quite fresh air for 5 minutes before the end of the bell. I sat beside the cage, by back pressing against its metal surface; my head hurt and a strange motion was happening in my eyes. A pewter black began to spew, flame-like across my emerald eyes as a burning pain sparked in my temples…it was agonizing and when upon the bell sounded and Ukitake appeared well before anyone else he leant against the bars next to me. He saw small drops of liquid littering the dry flooring and looked at me, arms curled around my knees; clutching them tight to my chest…my head resting limply against them, using the support to keep it from being dropped to the floor.

'Are you alright Miss Rystai?' He spoke and I groggily raised my head, my blackening eyes meeting his, he saw the darkness spreading over my eyes and immediately his heart began to thump against his ribcage…Ichigo was his first thought as he looked around for the orange haired human soul reaper boy. Luckily enough he appeared, alone, around the corner of the cage like area; leaping to his feet Ukitake ran over to Ichigo…panic setting in as he explained the situation to Ichigo.

'Varixa! Stand up…come on!' He shouted at my face I held my head as he dragged me to my feet, I grumbled as he pulled me down the slope along with Ukitake.

'What are you two doing?' I spoke as my head lolled downwards, weakness evident in my voice; concern evident in my wording.

'Kurosaki is going to help you out, come on we have to get out of the way of everyone,' Ukitake spoke as the two brought me to the top of the field, where no students or teachers were to be seen or could see them. Problem was that the others from seretei had already spotted us; they had seen us walk into an area where there could easily be a fight without anyone noticing. They began to walk towards the area as they heard the two males trying to talk me into letting something take over; they heard by surprisingly weak voice refusing the order.

'Varixa…there is no way we can help unless you let it out!' Ichigo began to become enraged by my awkward attitude, I stood still and when I looked up they had gotten their wish…it was free. The mask was like a masquerade one except it was jagged at the edges; one spike curled under my ear and the other over the top connecting the two…this formed wolf like ears on either side of my head. The white mask itself resembled a fierce wolf in itself, no jaw at all but a silhouette mask of the top half of a wolf's face. Ichigo pulled his mask over his face as the battle started, he would force my hollow into submission within 10 minutes of its release…I would not be shunned from soul society like the vizards. Meanwhile James and the others rounded the corner as James sensed the rise in spiritual pressure and the group of people walking slowly towards the bottom of the field; he began to walk in their direction…they stopped upon seeing him approach and they waited a good 10 minutes in a place where we were just out of sight; waiting for him to catch up.

The battle hadn't been very fierce as I struggled with my hollow, within the time limit he had set himself I had returned to my true self and smiled at him and Ukitake…a genuine smile filled with exhaustion and relief. The spiritual pressures had died as they all rounded the corner to see me laying asleep on the soft, dry grass my head resting on a sleeping Ukitake's leg and Ichigo sat looking bored beside the two sleeping friends; he got up and stretched as the others walked around the corner looking at the scene in confusions as to the whereabouts of the pressures.

'Geeze Byakuya, why do you look so pissed…lighten up,' Ichigo spoke as he walked past the group, continuing to the bottom of the field once more. Byakuya looked genuinely offended by the statement but made no move to retaliate, deciding to keep up his cold, stoic and noble demeanour.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Things gradually began to settle down and now me and Rukia were lodging at my friend Karl's house. We did not mind sleeping in the same room and worked hard at weekends to pay a rent and obtain the family extra money, although we were told we didn't need to we felt that it gave us a more solid place there and it would be nice to be able to treat them more and so we got an idea. Me and Rukia were independent freelance skiers and enjoyed the sport more then most people, Karl and his sister; as well as his mum and dad had all been skiing for many a years so this would make things more interesting and the friendly competitiveness was welcoming and helped us to settle in better. Me and Rukia gradually entered ski races together, alone and with the family we lodged with; it became enjoyable and new bonds were being formed. I fell madly in love with Karl and nothing could change the way I was feeling, but what was even better was that he loved me just as much. It was true love and we were soon going out. We kept it quiet to start off with and didn't let anyone know, things were going great when we finally decided to tell Karl's parents. They were thrilled and loved he idea of Karl being in love truly and deepy, although his mum was now very fussy on leaving me and him alone... As if we'd get up to anything stupid and anything like that when we had only just started going out. Every morning I would wake up and smile knowing he was not far from me, but Byakuya had distanced himself from me and had long since disappeared off somewhere...Rukia had a feeling she knew why, but did not want to voice her opinions when the matter was so delicate for both me and Byakuya.

Sorrow took hold when I looked to the sky one day and knew I was living a lie, I didn't belong in this world anymore since I had died and become who I am now...me and Karl would not work as long as I was still a captain of the court guard squads and as long as my new lineage of nobility was present. A silent tear slid accross my cheek and sadness welled up inside me, why did my life have to be so twisted! Was it not enough for me to be dead and having to learn to live differently? Why couldn't I be back on that fateful day when everything changed, back in a life where I still had a heart beat and when I felt no sorrow for having to live between two completely different worlds...was I really stuck to simply be like this forever more? Never being able to settle and never being able to follow my heart simply because I wanted to do so ... I wanted to be Tamara again. A normal life or a least back on that fateful day, so I could re-write the wrongs and avoid my own death...

I wanted to be alive again...  
...I wanted to be loved for who I was not who I became...  
...I wanted everything to re-wind itself back...  
...and back...  
...and back to where it all came to a abrupt end...

I knew I was kidding myself with the thoughts of rewinding time... I knew it of all things was a truly impossible prospect, yet I somehow wish that I could have done something to change this fate.

The rain began to tumble down onto my face hiding the tears that stung my face, unknowing to me Karl was out doing exactly the same thing; thinking the same thing at the same moment in time. A man watched on, his heart wondering why. I lowered my head in resolve; you have to be cruel to be kind...stepping forward I walked into the rain-it covered me and soaked me from head to toe; but I could not care. Turning to take one last look at the house behind me I muttered words and a gate of shoji screens appeared before me; I did not look back I stepped forward but as my foot crossed the threshold of the doors a chain wrapped tight around my left wrist. The onlooker had left the scene and I was alone, I tried to pull on the chain to release it as the shoji screen disappeared; but to no avail...it would not come off. The chain pulled tight rapidly and I was thrown across the park; the impact caused me to lose control of my spiritual pressure, the blue and black pressure threw it's way into the heavens. My eyes had shadowed as a black flame began to cross them, but I refused it...i refused the power and evil behind it. I was thrown and kicked by someone I could not see, all the while the chain continued to hold tight onto me.

"Hmph...why is he even interested in trash?" The voice reminded me of someone and the phrase made me realise who it was and this terrified me.

"Don't call me...trash...when you..don't...even know...ME!" I found it hard to breathe, hard to talk and hard to do anything; but somewhere inside me I found the strength to pull myself to my feet...to stand what little grounding I had left.

"So you can stand? Yami, let go." The chain released itself and slackened on the command, I moved my wrist to gain back sensation and quickly changed into my soul form...my gigai falling to the floor with a thud onto the hard ground beneath. I would have to fight hard if I was to make it out of here alive...


End file.
